Praise for Psychotherapy

"I've seen psychiatrists in my time, so songwriting hasn't always worked. It's not a bad idea to have someone to talk to." ~ Sir Paul McCartney

"Counselling saved Bill and me." ~ Hillary Clinton

"Talk therapy and antidepressants jump-started me out of my blackness." ~ Sheryl Crow

"Talking matters." ~ George Stephanopoulos

"I love being in therapy. It's just constantly fulfilling for me. " ~ Jennifer Jason Leigh

"You know, I think that going into therapy is a very positive thing, and talking about it is really helpful, because the more you talk the more your fears fade, because you get it out. " ~ Fran Drescher

"Therapy saved my life. It was either therapy or die. " ~ Mickey Rourke

“I’m big on therapy." ~ Eva Mendes

"I know a lot of people think therapy is about sitting around staring at your own navel - but it's staring at your own navel with a goal. And the goal is to one day to see the world in a better way and treat your loved ones with more kindness and have more to give." ~ Hugh Laurie

"I've been in group therapy. I'm always keeping my mental health in check." ~ Halle Berry.

"I was almost 50 before I felt able to face the things that lay at the heart of my [troubles], but all the therapy I've had subsequently has been of help." ~ Joan Baez

"My dreams are pretty vivid. I talk about them in therapy." ~ Robin Williams

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Not My Children

My son’s start to life was not an easy one. Born by emergency caesarean section at 1.00am, Timmy could barely breathe due to fluid filling his lungs. He spent the first sixteen hours of his life puffing and grunting as he laboured to take each breath. By the grace of God, the fluid drained naturally from his lungs and he was finally united with his very relieved parents sixteen hours later.

For the next two years, Timmy was plagued by an endless parade of colds and viruses. Every third week he seemed to contract another one.

The last straw came not long after he turned two. A vicious viral infection spread into his sinuses and then infected both of his ears. I remember despairing as I held his gaunt, feverish and sickly body in my arms as he whimpered in pain. He had not eaten for two days.

That night I turned to the Lord in frustration, “It's one thing for me to suffer - I’m a reasoning adult and I can handle it. But Lord, please, not my children! Please, spare them such sufferings!” As Timmy’s sickness raged on, my inner peace was driven away as I allowed anguish, anxiety and grief to invade my inner person.

As hard as it is to endure severe suffering ourselves, to helplessly sit by and watch a loved one be stricken by such hardships is agonisingly painful, very much like being hit by a double-barrelled shotgun. Not only is our family member suffering, but we suffer alongside them as we let the weight of their troubles pull us down too.

Yet as I waited upon the Lord in prayer that night, He reminded me of what I had learnt through my own sufferings.

I had been assailed by deafness, epilepsy, and an agonising injury, but I came to realise that in spite of all these things, Jesus was still Lord and remained in control of my life, which He held safely within His hands. He was trustworthy and I had nothing to fear.

At that moment I realised that I needed to trust Jesus in and through the sufferings of the members of my family too, just as I had learnt to trust Him in and through my own. So instead of longing desperately for my son’s suffering to end, I surrendered this burden to Jesus and recognised that He was in control of my son’s life too. Of course I continued to pray for his recovery, but now did so with faith, rather than with impatient desperation.

The Bible tells us to ‘Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.’ (1 Peter 5:7) When I realised that I did not need to carry the burden of my son’s troubles, but could give them to Jesus to carry for me, peace returned to my heart.

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Surrendering this burden to the Lord did not end Timmy’s sickness right there and then, but it made all the difference in how I reacted to it. I reacted now by accepting he was ill, (Philippians 4:12-13 ‘I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,’) I was willing to live with his suffering rather than fighting or fearing it (John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in Me,”) and I was willing to persevere and let time pass (James 1:2-4 ‘Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.’)

My son did recover soon thereafter, and his health slowly improved over time. Now he is four, and I can barely keep up with him!

Of course, the sufferings that I have examined in this post pale in significance with what many have gone through, with crippling, life-threatening, or terminal illnesses threatening their family members. Yet through this I re-learnt one of God’s eternal truths - Jesus is Lord of all things and completely trustworthy. ‘I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True.’ Revelation 19:11.

Seeing me rejoicing in Christ and clinging resolutely to Him despite my flagging health, my wife once said to me, “You have a special gift of faith.” Hearing this greatly encouraged me, yet I do not think my faith is any different from the faith God gives to all believers in Christ. Rather, back when I was in the worst phase of clinical depression, when hope, joy, and life itself seemed to have been torn from me, I considered the alternative to trusting in Christ. If Jesus was not trustworthy, I was faced with an empty life devoid of any meaning that teetered on the edge of a precipice overlooking a yearning black hole of sheer and utter terror.

That was an alternative I refused to embrace. I concluded back then, when my life reached rock bottom, that Jesus was more than trustworthy, He was (and is!) completely trustworthy. There is no yearning black hole of sheer terror. There is Jesus, our rock, our refuge, our unshakeable foundation. And He is the reason for my faith.

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” John 6:68

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Download a pdf booklet of this blog's articles

All verses from NIV.

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Inkblot Fun

So, what do you see?

I see two baby carriages in the little blots on the upper left and right corner. An angel with a funky hat in the center. Two ghosts dancing with outstretched arms at the bottom, some bunnies in the middle and a host of other things.

As always, inkblots posted here are not original Rorschach inkblots.

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Depression & Anger: Sherry's Testimony

Everyone who suffers from depression struggles with anger to some degree. It may be focused or unfocused, or be primarily directed at depression’s symptoms as well as towards our own mind and body for ruining our life by never ceasing to manufacture those symptoms month after month. Focused anger can be towards whatever or whoever caused the depression, towards God for allowing this thing to befall us, or even towards the enemy.

My sister in Christ, Sherry Castellucio, has kindly granted me permission to reprint here an article she wrote called, ‘Fighting Depression.’ She shares her testimony of her life long battle with depression and its accompanying anger.


FIGHTING DEPRESSION, by Sherry Castelluccio

The best way I’ve heard depression described is “anger turned inward”. It can be a real vicious anger, depending on the week. It’s a debilitating, mean-spirited, cruel monster with little regard for the rest of the world. It doesn’t matter if you’re a stay at home mom or if you’re a teenager just trying to survive. You could be an old lady, living at home by yourself with all of your family away in other parts of the country, or you could be a widower who just lost the love of your life. It’s no respecter of persons and doesn’t care about age, race, or religion. If you are human, you are susceptible. If you’ve had it before you’re even more of a target.

Over the years, I’ve found the simplest way to fight it is just to accept it. Yes, I have depression but no, I’m not going to allow it to rule my life. The biggest help I’ve ever given myself was to figure out what parts of it I can control and what parts I need help with. I can’t control the fact that it’s genetic and sometimes appears, regardless of how hard I fight to contain it. After the birth of my child, it buried me. Suddenly I was enmeshed in things I had no control over and my body literally shut down like a computer hard drive. There was simply too much information to process.

I remember feeling so incredibly angry but had not the foggiest idea why. Surrounded by in-laws, an intrusive mother, and a newborn became too much to handle all at once. I had to learn how to function as a person and learn how to keep the voices at bay, and eventually disappear. I had to accept that for a while the only elixir was medication.

The parts I can control are a bit trickier. I know what I have to do to make this better, but I have to decide what I’m going to do about it. I have to choose within myself how I’m going to live today, being bitter and angry or choosing to come out of it, albeit ever so slowly. I have to know what makes me feel good and even if I have no desire to participate in those things, I know I must if I am to make it out alive and able to be the person my family needs me to be. It’s much easier to admit I can’t live this way when there are people at home that need me.

Still, there are those days when I would much rather curl myself up into the foetal position and sleep the day away, forgetting everything and everyone in my life. Shirking my responsibilities and ignoring my needs are tempting, but not realistic. It’s my responsibility to make this home run smoothly and raise my child the best way I know how. It’s impossible to be productive when I’m zonked out in bed.

The Lord has been so faithful in pulling me out. He never fails to reveal himself in those dark times when I feel so empty, so lifeless. He is there reminding me that if I just give a little bit, try just a tiny fraction, He’ll bless me for it. It is work but I give in to Him because I know that He is right. It isn’t worth it to indulge in myself because I get nothing out of it. Giving in to myself is the last great mistake.

What words of comfort can I give to someone who struggles as I do? Remember that the devil is a liar, you are loved and it is possible to go on today. Recognize your anger for what it is and do something constructive about it.

Are you bored at home? Pick up that hobby you put down. Are you lonely? Call that friend you haven’t spoken to in months. You will both be glad you did. Is your body physically sick? Go sit outside in the sun for a few minutes. Find the one thing that makes you smile and drink it up.

Surround yourself with children, rent a comedy, finger paint. You are here because God put you here with a purpose. Find out what it is, make it your ambition to find out what you can do to bless others. I have found that the fastest way to bust Satan in the teeth is to do something for someone else. It puts a stop to the feelings of sadness and makes you feel alive and full of purpose, all at the same time. Make yourself laugh. It’s the simplest, most inexpensive cure there is and the most readily available. It changes your whole outlook.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well”. (Psalm 139:14) Allow this truth to embrace you and accept you. You are His child and he loves you as if you were the only one on this earth.

I have suffered from depression my whole life but I refuse to allow it to consume me and to dictate how I will live. My master is my Saviour Jesus Christ. I submit to his laws, not the laws of depression. There are some days that I am happy simply because I am alive and loved. There are other days when I must decide that I’m going to be happy, regardless of what my body or mind is telling me. It’s those days, when I have to make the most effort to really choose to smile that I know God is with me. Those are the days when I know I’m winning.

Fighting depression is no easy thing. Half the battle is won when you can stand back and decide that your life is good, even if Satan is trying to convince you otherwise. And in the end, the joke’s on him. He can’t be happy because he can’t be in the presence of the Lord. Now that is a depressing thought.

© 2005 Sherry Castelluccio

Download an ebook on depression, ie, this blog's articles

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Obese Toys?

Active Life is an organization that advocates physical activity, good nutrition and the creating of a well balanced environment that supports healthy lifestyles. I am totally all for that.

In an effort to highlight obesity in children, they have launched an interesting advertising campaign.

Obese toys.

More specifically a Barbie doll, a Superman doll and Playmobil Pirates.

Now, I can understand what the campaign is trying to do here. And there is no doubt that we've become less active and more sedentary. Our ancestors used to live most of their lives outdoors. Hunting. Gathering. Walking miles and such. We spend more time indoors now than outdoors. Hunting and gathering can be accomplished with the click of a button and a delivery to your front door. And the walking for miles things has gone by the wayside with the invention of the wheel.

So physical fitness continues to grow as a significant global concern. And props go out to the creative and artistic minds who think of advertising like this.

But I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, for starters, Barbie is an unrealistic toy to begin with. Her measurements are not attainable for any girl living in the real world. And Superman is, well, a guy with super powers. Not a real person. The Pirates are certainly more reality based, but maybe I'm just reading too much into things. It is a campaign geared for children and families.

What do you think?

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Anti-Abuse Make-Up Kit

Women who have been physically assaulted by a partner or spouse tend to camouflage injuries. Wearing make-up, accessories like sunglasses, scarves and/or skin-hiding clothing is often accompanied by not talking about the abuse.

An interesting make-up campaign is addressing the issue of physical violence by suggesting to speak up rather than hide injuries. The "It's Time You Spoke" campaign hopes to lift the veil of shame and helplessness of this aspect of domestic violence.

Support Groups and professional therapies can help bring understanding to the cycle of violence and traumatic bonding - and shelters can offer a safe haven.

Physical abuse has recently made headlines. The good that comes from something so tragic is that it brings awareness to the forefront. For more on the subject, visit the World Health Organization.

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Dealing with Fearful Thoughts

I had received one of those phone calls you never want to receive. “Peter, the school just rang,” said my wife. “Our daughter fell off the playground equipment and hurt her arm. She’s in sickbay, can you go and see if she is okay?”

I got permission to leave work and drove straight to school. When I got to sickbay, I grieved at the sight of my ten-year-old daughter lying on the sickbed, tear streaked face contorted in agony. She had fallen backwards from the top of the playgym and landed on her right wrist. Lifting the arm gently, I saw massive swelling just below the wrist.

I rang my wife and said, “Her arm’s broken, so I’ll take her to hospital.”

“No, Papa, no, I don’t want to go to hospital,” wailed my daughter as fearful images conjured by a mind plagued with pain flooded through her.

“It will be okay, the hospital will know exactly what to do to help your arm get better,” I assured her.

“Noooo,” she sobbed, her fears convincing her that the hospital would only cause more pain.

After the school’s office staff put her arm in a splint, it took some coaxing to get my daughter onto her feet. Then I put my arm around her and walked her towards the car park.

As soon as she was engaged in the activity of walking, as opposed to lying on the sickbed with nothing to do but focus on the pain in her arm and the fears of what would come next, she began to look and feel better. The colour returned to her face, she stopped crying, and she even managed to talk to her friends who followed us. By the time we reached my car, I even elicited some laughs from her.

And there lies an important lesson for those suffering from depression and anxiety. When fearful thoughts come flooding in, the worse thing we can do is to sit or lie down and examine, consider and debate those thoughts. Our mind, already fatigued, becomes even more sluggish, and the fears get blown further and further out of proportion. Adrenalin flows excessively, causing disturbing sensations to abound and we spiral ever downwards.

In contrast, we can see that constructive activity was the best thing my daughter could do.

On one occasion back in 1990, when I lay curled on my bed churning over the fears that haunted me, I somehow managed to fix my eyes upon Jesus and He said, “Come on Peter, you don't need to do this. Come with Me - I have lots of constructive things for us to do together.” So I got off the bed, sat at my desk and painted some models. As this distracted me from focusing upon the fearful thoughts, they began to lose their intensity and slowly faded into the background.

Now that I have recovered from depression, I find it much easier to fix my eyes upon Jesus when assaulted by fears. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Hebrews 12:2. I reflect on John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” And as I trust in Him I am able to shrug off those fears.

However, a mind exhausted by depression’s endless cycle of obsessive fearful thoughts loses its flexibility and resilience, and is therefore unable to shrug off fears or focus upon Jesus by choice alone. I know this because I tried with all of my strength and failed.

I became so exasperated by my inability to break free from those fearful thoughts that I said to my counsellor, “I can't stop thinking these obsessive fearful thoughts - I try and try, but I just can't stop!”

Her answer was to run me through a practical exercise that illustrated why force of will was insufficient to stop thinking fearful thoughts for someone who is depressed. I will now share that exercise below.

I would like to ask you, the reader, to do something right now - please think of an elephant. Picture it in your mind - think of its huge, floppy ears, that long curling trunk, those twin ivory tusks, the powerful legs.

Now stop thinking about the elephant.

You failed, yes? You are still thinking about the elephant.

Now let us try that again. Please think of an elephant. Picture it in your mind - think of its huge, floppy ears, that long curling trunk, those twin ivory tusks.

Now, please picture in your mind the cover of your favourite novel. What colour is the title text? What image is on the cover? Does this image accurately represent the story in the novel? Did the book’s cover influence your decision to read or buy the book? Should a book be judged by its cover?

Now, have you noticed that you are no longer thinking of an elephant?

When suffering from depression we cannot break out of the cycle of fearful thoughts by will power alone. However, by concentrating on a constructive activity we distract ourselves from focusing on them. The fears lose their intensity and slowly fade away.

Constructive activity could include going for a walk, jogging, washing the car, gardening, and especially hobbies. Activity weakens fear’s grip on our mind by giving us something else to focus on, and therefore brings relief.

It may be very hard at first to put steps like this into practice. There will be good days and bad days. We must not let the bad days discourage us. We need to be mindful that as we keep at it and rely upon Christ’s strength (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) and let time pass, while staying constructively busy, we will gradually improve. As we retrain our mind we will break the habit of focusing upon fearful thoughts, and will eventually be able to dismiss them with ease. We will be able to keep our eyes fixed firmly upon Jesus and trust in Him.


Some practical steps in dealing with fearful thoughts:

1. Recognise it is a fearful thought and remind ourselves that:
a. it is just a fearful thought
b. it has no real power and no significance
c. I do not even believe what it is saying!
d. I do not need to debate it, consider it, or listen to it.

2. Then while trusting in God and His Word, busy ourselves in a constructive activity, leaving the fearful thought at the back of our mind, like background music, where it will soon fade away.

3. If the fears clamour for our attention and we are secretly terrified of what they are insinuating, we need to remind ourselves that they are only a trick, a deception.

The Bible says, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.” 1 Peter 5:8-9. Of special significance is that the Bible says Satan is only like a roaring lion – he relies upon trickery and deception.

The Bible also says, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7. That is a great promise to stand upon.

Let us remember: For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 AMP

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Tribute to Marysville

It is world news that Victoria, Australia, has been ravaged by bushfires since Saturday 7th of February, a day which Victoria saw record temperatures. Country towns have been destroyed, thousands of hectares of bush lands burnt down, and close to two hundred lives lost. To add insult to injury, it is believed that some or many of these fires were lit deliberately.

One of the most beautiful tourist attractions in Victoria was a small town with a population of about 500, nestled in the foothills of the mountains. Marysville abounded with native Australian animals such as parrots, kookaburras and wallabies, as well as dozens of wild which ducks lived in the town’s small lake and Steavenson River.

On Saturday 7 February 2009, Marysville was devastated by bushfires. They say only one building is left standing in the town itself. Most of the residents were evacuated safely to the local sports ground, Gallipoli Park. It is not yet known how many were not so fortunate.

In last September, only four months ago, my family vacationed in Marysville, staying in a house that over looked that very same sports ground. We even played tennis there. My wife, two children, and I considered it one of the most idealic and relaxing holidays we have had. We fed the wild ducks every day, went on bush walks, and visited Steavenson Falls.

I took a number of photos of Marysville when there, and in fact, the title photo of this blog is a photo we took of Steavenson Falls. To think that this beautiful place has been devastated is heartbreaking. If you have a moment, please lift a prayer for the people who have lost their loved ones and homes due to these bushfires.

Here is a link to a news article on The Australian website.
http://media.theaustralian.com.au/multimedia/2009/02/08-ferguson/index.html


While in Marysville, my family and I witnessed a scene so moving, that when I returned home and was waiting upon the Lord, He showed me something that motivated me to pen it into a devotional, which I placed on the net back in September. As a tribute to Marysville, I share that devotional again below.


When My Gaze Strays

Startled by my footsteps, the wild duck and her ten ducklings fled down the grassy bank to dive into the gurgling stream fed by the Steavenson River in Marysville. Within their element, they ceased their flight and took care not to stray far from the stream’s bank, where the water was shallow and the current slow.

Yet two of the tiny ducklings strayed from their mother and ventured towards the centre of the stream. My heart leapt to my throat in dismay as the stronger current tore them from their family and propelled them ruthlessly downstream. Watching over the remaining eight ducklings, the mother seemed oblivious to the hapless pairs’ fate. I stood there, aghast, afflicted by feelings of despair and helplessness as the current continued to sweep the ducklings away. Their valiant attempt to paddle upstream back to their mother was futile.

Is this how little ones such as these are lost? Divorced from their parent’s comforting protection, forcibly separated from the loving fellowship of their siblings? Soon they would perish, all alone, in a world suddenly devoid of love.

Memories long buried bobbed to the surface of the waters of my mind. Nineteen years ago, I had been in that very same predicament. Doubt, fear and terror raged unchecked through me, sweeping me far from the knowledge of God’s soothing presence. Anxiety and endless panic attacks became a torrential river from which there was no escape. I fought it with all my strength, but like those ducklings, I lacked the power to swim upstream back to the comforting arms of Jesus. My world turned black—despair became my constant companion.

Drawn back to the present by sudden movement, I was surprised to see the mother duck leave behind the other eight ducklings as she launched herself into the fast flowing stream. Paddling furiously towards her errant youngsters, she soon caught up with them. With practised care she guided them away from the middle of the stream and into a small dam formed by rocks and a fallen branch. Safe now, the two ducklings snuggled against her—relieved that she had seen their plight and rescued them.

Casting my mind back, I recalled how Jesus had also come after me when I had been swept into that desolate, black place of depression and hopelessness. “I will never leave you nor forsake you,” He assured me through His Word in Joshua 1:5. With loving patience, His Word, and practical advice through a book that He dropped onto my lap, ‘Self Help for Your Nerves’ by Dr. Claire Weekes, He lead me down the road to recovery, and soon restored me to the knowledge of His presence.

Returning to the present, I saw that the scene before me had not run its full course. What of the eight ducklings left behind by their mother as she raced off to rescue the lost pair? Imagine then, my surprise to see those eight youngsters—their eyes fixed firmly upon their mother, race into the midst of the stream and follow her into the safety of the small dam. Now mother and ten ducklings were reunited.

Right there was the answer, God’s blueprint to avoid being swept away by life’s troubles and storms. I had made the same mistake as Peter when he stepped out of the boat to walk on water to reach Jesus. Like him I took my eyes off the Lord and cast my gaze upon surrounding troubles, doubts and fears. Like Peter I sank. How eloquently those ducklings illustrated Hebrews 12:2, ‘Let us fix our eyes on Jesus.’ Had I done that, and clung to His words in John 14:1, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me,” I could have been spared such anguish!

Yet all the same, my heart is comforted by the knowledge that when my gaze strays from Him and I am swept away by life’s troubles, that He will come after me and restore me to Himself. He will never leave nor forsake me.

(All verses from NIV)

A photo of the wild ducks who inspired the devotional.

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The "F" word. "Fat", that is.

Canada, the United Kingdom and the United States are highlighting Eating Disorders Awareness in the month of February.

The statistics regarding the prevalence and fallout from these disorders are eye-opening. And as more societal pressure is placed on the ideal look, more unhealthy behaviors are emerging in females and males. And starting at even younger ages. Orthnorexia and Compulsive Exercising are two that come to my mind as I write this post.

Much goes into who we are - and genetics sets the stage for body size, bone structure and shape. Being healthy and fit is what it's all about.

If you or someone you love is struggling with an Eating Disorder, help is available.

Remember, vive la différence! How boring would the world be if we all looked alike.

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Breaking Depression's Fear Cycle

In my previous article I discussed how depression causes what Doctor Weekes calls a ‘fear-adrenalin-fear cycle,’ where the fear, flight or fight reaction to depression causes more adrenalin to flow. This adrenalin is what causes depression’s symptoms. In addition, the more we fear, flee or fight, the worse we become, as the additional adrenalin produced prolongs symptoms and produces new, even more alarming ones.

I mentioned how the first step in stopping the cycle is to recognize that it is this cycle that causes the disturbing physical, mental, emotional and spiritual sensations.

In this article, I outline a system that can begin to slow and eventually stop the flow of fear related adrenalin. Although the system is simple and presented quite clearly in God’s word, it is so ‘unnatural’ that it does not occur to us if lost in a state of anxiety. (The natural reaction to depression is to fear, flee or fight the symptoms.)

Prior to putting into practice the technique that stops the cycle, Dr Weekes explains the importance of facing and examining the symptoms that are troubling us. She writes, 'I have no doubt that you are tensely shrinking from the feelings within you and yet, are ready to “listen in” in apprehension?...Now examine and do not shrink from the sensations that have been upsetting you. I want you to examine each carefully, to analyse and describe it to yourself...Do not tensely flinch from it. Go with it. Relax and analyse it…Now that you have faced and examined it, is it so terrible?' (1) That is, although the symptoms feel unbearable, we can put up with them.

How to Break the Fear, Flight, and Fight Cycle:
1. Accept each of depression’s symptoms as being part of our life, instead of fearing, fighting or fleeing them
2. Learn to live with the symptoms as part of our life, as if they were background music
3. Let time pass while trusting that God is in control (2)

Our first reaction to these steps could be, “But I don’t WANT to learn to live with these disturbing sensations - I want them to go away!”

And there lies the irony of it all. It is only when we accept those sensations, learn to live with them, and let time pass, that the flow of adrenalin begins to diminish. And as the flow of adrenalin diminishes, the symptoms lose their intensity, shorten in duration, and slowly begin to disappear. Accepting them instead of fearing or fighting them is the way to make them go away.

The Bible has many scriptures that illustrate this technique.

Verses for Acceptance:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. James 1:2-3

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18


Verse for Learning to Live with the Symptoms:
Philippians 4:12-13 ‘I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.’


Verses for Letting Time Pass while Trusting that God is in Control:
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” John 14:1

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear…Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:25,27

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5.

Speaking for myself, I knew the Bible verses that told me not to fear, that I should be content, and that I should rejoice in the midst of my sufferings, yet trying to put them into practice through sheer will power alone did not work. However, once I understood that by putting those verses into practice I would break the fear-adrenalin-fear cycle, those verses suddenly came alive to me.


Letting Time Pass

Less me stress that breaking the flow of adrenalin does not happen overnight. However, my life is a testimony to the fact that it does happen. Dr Claire Weekes says, “Accept it [the symptom] as something that will be with you for some time yet – in fact while you recover – but something that will eventually leave you if you are prepared to let time pass and not anxiously watch the churning during its passing. But do not make the mistake of thinking that it will go as soon as you cease to fear it. Your nervous system is still tired and will take time to heal, just as a broken leg takes time.” (3)

It is important that we keep ourselves busy as we let time pass while waiting to heal. We should go out of our way to find constructive activities that interest us and get lost in them. Physical exercise, such as swimming, aerobics, circuit, walking or jogging, can also be of great help.

Within a month of my reading “Self Help for Your Nerves,” a significant number of my symptoms, especially the physical ones, had diminished or ceased altogether. Over the next six months, I joined a new church, became a musician in a home group, started teaching Sunday School, and engaged in normal social activities again. Some of the symptoms took longer to fade away, but by reacting to them in the correct way, they no longer had the same power or intensity – I no longer feared them. Some symptoms, especially those that required I retrain my thought processes, lasted longer, but in time, they too faded away.

While in the midst of depression, we think we have no future and no hope. But in Christ, we always have hope and a future. 1 Corinthians 2:9 "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."

Hope enters our lives again when we know that it is only a matter of time (whether weeks or months, or in the case of some symptoms, years) for our nervous system to recover from this cycle. When I read “Self Help for your Nerves,” hope flooded through me, as you can see from this diary entry:

28th July 1990 -
This book has taught me how to react so that the merry go round will be stopped. And it’s teaching me how to react whenever it strikes again in the future.


The Importance of Surrender

To recover from depression we need to surrender every aspect of our life, including our desires and will, to Jesus. Romans 8:28 assures us that God is trustworthy. ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’

At the end of World War Two, the Allies demanded that Germany surrender to them unconditionally. That meant the Allies set all of the terms of the surrender and that Germany could not make any demands of its own. We sing, “All to Jesus, I surrender,” but do we really surrender everything? (I am pointing a finger at myself here too!) For when suffering comes along, instead of surrendering all of our will to Him, we typically react by fearing, fleeing or fighting - because we do not want to be where we are. Yet, by reacting like this, we make the suffering worse as this causes more adrenalin to flow.

When we accept what we are going instead of fearing, fleeing or fighting it, when we learn to live with it, and let time pass, we can find rest again. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28.


(1) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p21.
(2) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p19. Note, Dr Weekes includes 'floating' as a step in the treatment technique, whereas I wrote 'learn to live with it.' In my case I found the 'floating' concept hard to grasp, but easily related to that step (or my interpretation of it) when I thought of it as 'learning to live with it.'
(3) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p22.

All verses from NIV.

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Don't Skip Play Time

All work and no play can really make Jack a dull boy.

Or Jane for that matter.

The importance of play has been noted for decades. And now a recent study of 11,000 third-graders showed that even a daily short break of 15 minutes in the school day improved learning, social development and health.

Play is important for adults too. Life has become a fast-paced, demanding place for us - where work, finances and practical issues take center stage. So, go find your funny bone. Lose yourself in imaginative moments. Get your air-guitar on. Whatever it is, have some unstructured, unfettered fun.

Barros, R., Silver, E., & Stein, R. (2009). School Recess and Group Classroom Behavior PEDIATRICS, 123 (2), 431-436 DOI: 10.1542/peds.2007-2825

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