Pages

.

What does 'when I am weak, then I am strong' mean?

Many wonder what “when I am weak, then I am strong” means. At first glance, the statement does not seem to make any sense and even seems to contradict itself. How can someone possibly be weak and strong at the same time? Surely we can be one or the other, but not both?

The apostle Paul wrote these words when he was struggling with an issue that he described as a ‘thorn in the flesh.’ We do not know exactly what was troubling him, but the severity of this trial was obviously so terrible that it greatly weakened him.

‘Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it [a thorn in my flesh] away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’ 2 Corinthians 12:8-10. NIV.

When our lives are running smoothly and devoid of trials, we have a tendency to rely upon our own human strength – strength that cannot compare in any way to Christ’s almighty, divine strength.

However, when our life is beset with difficulties and storms, our strength fades away and we become weak. Yet in these times of personal weakness we can turn to Jesus and rely upon His divine strength, and through that strength, face and endure those storms. And when we are relying upon Christ’s almighty strength instead of upon our own inadequate strength, we are really strong.

The Amplified Bible’s expansion of this Bible passage, explains it perfectly:

Three times I called upon the Lord and besought [Him] about this and begged that it might depart from me; But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me! So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful in divine strength).

I have endured much in my life, with a sickly childhood, rejection, bullying, epilepsy and deafness, but it was when I was severely depressed that I was at my weakest. Here are some things I wrote in my diary:
I wish I had the wings of an eagle,
for I grow faint, physically and emotionally
I feel so inadequate, so helpless, so full of fears.
Irritation, frustration and anger rise up and consume me,
and I’m so weak I can’t even fight them.


Yet in spite of this weakness, I sought Jesus throughout the ordeal with every fibre of my being, praying, worshipping and praising Him, waiting on Him, and standing upon His word. And although I could not feel His presence during that time, when I look back at those days, I can see so clearly that He was there, carrying me and giving me the strength to persevere.

I would also like to draw our attention to another very significant aspect of allowing Christ’s strength to empower us during our trials. Paul talks about being glad about his weaknesses and even delighting in them.

It is imperative that we do not fall into the trap of grumbling against God during such trials, nor fight or fear them. We need to keep in mind that God uses such trials to strengthen our faith and develop our character, and then thank and praise Him in, through, and even for such trials. We need trust in Christ completely, reminding ourselves that He is sovereign and in control of all things. I remember reaching this point during my journey with depression - and how different the journey was from that point – I was able to get back out there and live an increasingly normal life while awaiting full recovery.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Depression Poems

This is something that I have been working on for the past several weeks. It is a collection of poems based upon much larger poems and diary entries I made in the early 1990s while suffering from severe depression. The poems are in chronological order, spanning a period of about ten months. It can be viewed fullscreen by clicking on the "Fullscreen" button, or can be read by using the embedded scrolling down button. The pdf can also be downloaded.

Depression Poems

Tags:
Christian Depression Poems
Poems written by a depressed Christian
Christian poems about depression
reade more... Résuméabuiyad

"Do You Trust God?"

“Do you trust God?” the visiting speaker asked, “raise your hand if you do.”

We lifted hands enthusiastically.

“Of all those who just rose your hands, raise your hand again if you have house insurance,” he said.

Many members of the congregation lifted their hand again.

He looked at us meaningfully. “You have all just confessed that you trust God, so why then, I ask you, do you have house insurance? If you truly trust God, then show that trust by your actions…”

I am going to draw the curtain over that particular sermon at this point and shout “STOP!”

This speaker had twisted trusting in God to mean, “Trusting in God means trusting Him to keep you safe from suffering, to keep you away from the storms of life.”

That is not what trusting in God means. We must maintain realistic goals, bearing in mind that everyone goes through trials and experiences times of discouragement and disappointment. To trust in God means to trust Him in all circumstances, in the hard times and the good times, as David shares in Psalm 23:4:

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.


Being a Christian is not a game of Monopoly, God does not give us a “get out of suffering” free card. But He does take us by the hand and lead us through the hard times, comforting, protecting, and strengthening us.

When I was afflicted by severe depression, the suffering was beyond my comprehension, but I never let go of Jesus, I never stopped trusting in Him, and He lead me through and eventually out of that storm.

Let us consider for a moment a person who believes that trusting in God equates to never having to undergo suffering of any kind. What will happen when that person encounters a major trial or life-storm:
1. They will mostly likely blame God, saying, "God, I trusted You - how could you let this happen?"
2. Or the alternative is to turn upon themselves, saying, “There is something wrong with my faith!”

Having house insurance does not equate to a lack of faith. We do not know what our future holds. We do not know what natural or man-made disasters or accidents lie in our future. Insurance is simply common sense, not to mention mandatory for all Australian drivers.

A couple of years ago two pipes burst in my bathroom ceiling, causing half of it to collapse. This did not happen because I lacked faith. This happened because of physics – the builders who had renovated the house decades ago had deliberately bent the copper pipes to make room for the new plastic ones… For the next few months, while we waited for the insurance company to arrange for it to be repaired, we had to use a bathroom with a hideous, gaping hole above our heads, with dirty insulation, spiders, and even a lizard coming into the bathroom through it.

My initial desperate reaction was for it to be fixed immediately because I could not relax or find peace in such uncomfortable circumstances, for our skin crawled every time we used the bathroom. But the Lord soon began a work in my heart, showing me that peace did not come from having a clean, secure bathroom, but from Him. So I placed my faith and trust in Him and my heart was no longer troubled.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.’ James 1:2-4

Jesus also said that we will share in His sufferings, and that it is an honour if we are persecuted because of Him. This is not something that we see so much in the Western nations, but in many countries, to become a Christian means being ostracized from one’s family or worse. In the book of Acts, Christians were frequently driven from their homes, but God used this for good for they took the gospel with them when they fled to new countries.

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:11

When I was in junior high school, I was bullied and persecuted unmercifully because I was a Christian and different from the other children. Those years were very difficult for me, but I clung to Christ and relied upon Him to get me through them and my faith grew and matured. I was even able to be a witness for Christ because of it.

'Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.' Romans 8:17-18

My answer to the question, “Do I trust God?” is: Yes, I do. I trust God to take me by the right hand and lead me along paths of righteousness for His name's sake, to lead me to green pastures and still waters, and also to lead me through darkened valleys beset with storms, and even be with me when surrounded by enemies.

Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.



reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Six Drug-Free Ways To Boost Your Brain

I just finished The Scientific American Brave New Brain, and, wow, is it a great read. The author, Judith Horstman, is an award winning science journalist. She makes it easy to understand how the brain works, what it does and how we need to take of it.

Here are Horstman's suggestions for drug-free ways to boost your brain power:

1. Exercise it. Physical exercise is the best thing you can do for your brain.

2. Feed it Fat. Our brains are mostly fat and the brain needs fat for fuel. But feed your brain good fats like Omega-3's, nuts and seeds.

3. Stimulate it. To do this you must learn something new and hard. The easy stuff doesn't get your neurons firing.

4. Play with it. Play is very important for brain health. From video games, board games, cards and surfing the net.

5. Serenade it. Music can enhance moods and better sleep and lower blood pressure. Of course, make sure you listen to classical, jazz and other soft sounds - and not thrash-metal
music.

6. Meditate it. Meditation boosts brain functioning as well as the immune system. So get your Ohm on.


I'm happy to say that I do all of these.

How about you?




reade more... Résuméabuiyad

A Rejection Complex

A rejection complex was a bugbear that I struggled with for many years, stemming back to my earliest years. Its claws gouged deep wounds in me that I feared would never heal. Here is a poem I wrote recently about part of my decades long struggles with it.


Twisting Roots
Winding,
twisting roots
have ensnared me.
I am weary,
a beast burdened by
the weight
of past hurts.
To protect myself
I create
the Golden Rule:
“I must never reach out,
I must hide my heart,
for I cannot risk
being rejected again.”
I withdraw behind
these lifeless walls.
Safe, yet
without hope.
Empty.

Time passes,
I question why
I have such little faith.
Nothing ventured,
nothing gained.
So I tear down
those walls I built.
And like a toddler
taking his first steps,
I venture forth
and risk my heart
yet again.
I persevere
and in the fullness of time,
I meet her.
And gain
so much.


Characteristics of a Rejection Complex

One characteristic of a rejection complex is the tendency to read rejection into everything: a cancelled appointment by a friend or acquaintance, a raised voice, an ambiguous statement, a frown – any of these actions can be misinterpreted as rejection, even when rejection was not even present.

To further complicate matters, when someone with a rejection complex is actually rejected, it is quite common to spend hours mulling over the rejection clues, as we try to convince ourselves that this is only another case of misreading the other person.

And then to cap it all off, once we acknowledge or recognise that we have been rejected, it is common for us to pick up the ball and reject ourselves. This is typically linked to past episodes of rejection, especially if it occurred during our childhood. We may parrot the criticisms that others have spoken over us, telling ourselves that we are worthless and useless. Descending into self-hatred, we may even punish ourselves in an attempt to stop ourselves from repeating the behaviour/ mistake/sin that caused this particular episode of rejection. And worst of all, we may try to force ourselves into becoming someone other than ourselves in a vain attempt to please the other person.

A typical characteristic of a rejection complex is to surround ourselves with rules or walls that are designed to protect us from ever being exposed to the unbearable pain of being rejected again.

Conditional Love and Unconditional Love

Understanding the difference between conditional love and unconditional love is crucial in being set free from the fear of rejection.

Conditional love says, “I’ll only love you if you do what I want you to do.” Conditional love sets impossible standards that we can never meet, it is never satisfied, and when we fail to meet those standards, it classifies us as useless and worthless and then rejects us. And if we make a mistake or sin, it is treated as deliberate rebellion and we are judged for it. Conditional love is not love at all. It is self-centred, neurotic, controlling, paranoid, and fearful.

God desires to set us free from the bondage of conditional love. He wants to set us free from the trap of living to please men, and bring us into the freedom of living to please Him. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. 1 Thessalonians 2:4. God’s love, in stark contrast to conditional love, is unconditional, and He not only extends it to us through His grace and mercy, but He also forms it within us as the fruit of the Holy Spirit.

God’s unconditional love is patient and kind. It does not seek to manipulate others, it does not set impossible standards, it is not self-centred, and it accepts us. If we make a mistake, unconditional love recognises this, and does not judge. If we commit a sin, unconditional love illuminates the sin in order to bring conviction, and encourages repentance and a change in behaviour. Unconditional love restores us to fellowship, and it says, “Even if you blow it, I will still love you.”

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Let us keep our eyes fixed upon Jesus, and dwell in the security of His unconditional love. He will never leave us nor forsake us. The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
reade more... Résuméabuiyad

What Makes The Villain Scary



I just did an interview with writer Olivia Collette on what makes certain characters in films truly frightening. She and I felt that - instead of stereotyped evil-doers like Freddy Kruger or Michael Myers - the more ordinary and average the villain, the more frightening they become. Think Hans Landa in Inglorious Basterds, Vito Coreleone in The Godfather, Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest, or Ruth Gordon in Rosemary's Baby...

Psychologically speaking, the reason that the ordinary person gives us goosebumps is because we are all human and complex. When we discover that someone just like us can do evil, terrifying things, it becomes unsettling.

I like my villains to have a depth and breadth that comes close to portraying the human experience. I find the slasher, psychopathic characters stigmatizing and demeaning to those of us who have mental illness. In fact, research supports that on-screen portrayals of villains as one dimensional has a negative effect on the public's perception of people with mental illness.

Incidentally, I've written a psychological suspense novel with an antagonist that is complex, quite human and certainly evil. But there's no stereotyping or stigmatizing of mental illness there.


Pirkis, J., Blood, R., Francis, C., & McCallum, K. (2006). On-Screen Portrayals of Mental Illness: Extent, Nature, and Impacts Journal of Health Communication, 11 (5), 523-541 DOI: 10.1080/10810730600755889


reade more... Résuméabuiyad

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month




Sexual Assault Awareness Month is observed in April in the United States, and is dedicated to making a concerted effort to raise awareness about and prevent sexual violence. In the time it takes to read this paragraph, 3 individuals somewhere in the United States will have become a victim of sexual violence.


The first observation of Sexual Assault Awareness Month occurred in 2001, where the National Sexual Violence Resource Center provided resources to advocates nationwide to help get the word out about sexual assault. This awareness day has gained momentum over the years, especially on high school and college campuses. Research states that prevention programs and awareness days help educate the public about sexual assault and sexual violence. For those who want more information, link here


Banyard, V., Eckstein, R., & Moynihan, M. (2009). Sexual Violence Prevention: The Role of Stages of Change Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 25 (1), 111-135 DOI: 10.1177/0886260508329123



reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Do we have to Fully Recover from Depression Before we Can Get Back out There?

Depression is a debilitating illness, and it is normal for someone suffering from depression to withdraw from life, doing little more than hiding and waiting. This is especially true during depression’s darkest phase.

This is what I wrote while in that phase:

What is this storm that rages within me?
Why won’t it abate, why won’t it subside?
It comes in like a storm, and devours me.
And it won’t go away. It’s near four months now.
Four months of doing nothing, just hiding, hiding, and waiting.


In my previous post I spoke about the foundation for my recovery that had been laid during those dark months. This included going onto anti-depressant medication to dull the pain, counselling from a Christian counsellor to help me to face and find the correct perspectives regarding the deep fears and traumas in my life. Many other things also played their role, such as physical exercise, pursuing hobbies and interests, and so on.

In July ’90, after eight months of despair and hopeless, I read “Self Help for Your Nerves” by Dr Claire Weeks. Everything changed after that, as hope returned to my life, I finally understood what was wrong with me, how I had gotten into such a state, and had a strategy for recovery.

In October ‘90 I went to see my counsellor again. Since reading “Self Help for Your Nerves” three months earlier, many of depression’s symptoms had gone, while most if not all others had reduced in severity and duration.

I was not better, though, not by a long shot – that would take another four years. At this stage I still felt uncomfortable or slightly disturbed most of the time, I was still suffering from fatigue to the extent that I needed a 45 minute rest every day when I got home from work, I still struggled with anxiety, had occasional panic attacks and heart palpitations, and felt pretty gross when I woke in the mornings.

However, in seeing how much I had improved compared to what I had been like earlier in the year, and noticing that a spring had returned to my step, my counsellor told me that her impression of me was that I was hiding behind Jesus like a small child hides behind his father’s legs, watching the world but too cautious or scared to get out there and experience it.

She told me that although I was still suffering from plenty of depression’s symptoms, she said that I was better enough to stop getting counselling and to get back out there.

Had she said this earlier, I would have been terrified, but as she gave me this advice, I knew she was right. I felt the Lord confirming that it was time for me to stop hiding and waiting and get back into life.

It took four more years for me to recover from depression, but I spent those four years living an almost normal life. I accepted the remaining symptoms of depression as being part of my life, and was content to let them be there like background music to my day, and got on with living.

After that final meeting with my counsellor I joined a new home fellowship group and became the group’s pianist. I joined all the social activities this group ran such as jazz and badminton nights – all things I could not have done even a few months previously. A few months later I started teaching Sunday school again. I asked if I could be a helper, but the organiser laughed (he had more confidence in me than I did) and put me in charge of an entire class, a responsibility I was able to handle with ease.

Everyone recovers from depression at their own rate, there is no formula. But it is encouraging to know that we do not have to wait until we have completely recovered before we can get back out there and enjoy life again.

And the good news is that we do not have to do this by our own strength. Jesus is there, ready to help and empower us with His divine strength.

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

I love the way the Amplified Bible says this:

I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]. Philippians 4:13 (AMP)

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5

But he [Jesus] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
reade more... Résuméabuiyad

April 2nd is World Autism Day



World Autism Awareness Day falls on Friday, April 2nd, 2010. The campaign urges people to 'Stand Up for Autism,' and brings together Autism organizations from around the world.

Worldwide, there over 60 million people with Autism - and even more who are undiagnosed or looking for help.

For more: go here and here



Hertz-Picciotto, I., & Delwiche, L. (2009). The Rise in Autism and the Role of Age at Diagnosis Epidemiology, 20 (1), 84-90 DOI: 10.1097/EDE.0b013e3181902d15

reade more... Résuméabuiyad