vitamin for depression: well-being

Showing posts with label well-being. Show all posts

Showing posts with label well-being. Show all posts

Moving Through A Difficult Anniversary Date

"Anniversary Effect", sometimes called Anniversary Reaction, is defined as a unique set of unsettling feelings, thoughts or memories that occur on the anniversary of a significant experience.

Sometimes you can trace the reason why you're feeling sad, irritable or anxious. One look at the calendar and you connect the dots from your current emotional state to the traumatic event. For example, the birthday of someone who's no longer alive, the date of an accident, a natural disaster or a miscarriage, just to name a few.

Sometimes finding the Anniversary Effect isn't as easy to trace because the event doesn't have a time-specific relationship. It may be more of a seasonal experience. For example, Autumn reminds you of when your child left for college, or a hot humid day reminds you of the time you signed your divorce papers. Or for me, the sounds of Christmas music on the radio takes me back to the trauma of a botched robbery that nearly took my life.

Anniversary Reactions signal that you are still working on moving through the trauma of your experience. It is often a normal part of the grieving process.

What You Can Do

1. Make sure you take time to glance at a calendar each month - and explore dates and memories attached to such dates. This framework can help prepare you for the possibility of an Anniversary Reaction.

2. The anniversary date is not the only day that you might feel out of sorts. Remind yourself that days or weeks leading up to an anniversary date - and even ones after, may be tough ones for you.

3. Anniversaries of public trauma, crises or disasters receive significant media coverage. Often, media outlets revisit distressing imagery. Limit your watching of TV, reading of newspapers and visiting Internet news sites around those dates.

4. Express your memories and feelings when an Anniversary Effect happens. You can do this by talking with a family member or friend, journaling, blogging or finding creative ways to express your inner experiences.

5. Make sure you take good care of yourself during these times. Self-care, support and comfort will help ground you as you move through trauma.

6. If you find that you're struggling with your trauma, remember that you're not alone. Loss affects each of us differently, so don't put a time limit on your grief. If you feel overwhelmed or cannot navigate successfully through your Anniversary Reaction, consider seeking the counsel of a trauma specialist.

Bibliotherapy: When A Good Book is All You Need

Bibliotherapy, also known as Reading Therapy, is the inclusion of books to help a child or adult move through emotional experiences. From fiction, non-fiction, poetry or pictures books - a good dose of literature can really provide support and education.

Historically, bibliotherapy dates back to the 1930's when librarians began compiling lists of written material that helped individuals with trauma, thoughts, feelings or behaviors for therapeutic purposes.

I often use bibliotherapy to help people I work with move through difficult events or traumas, like death, divorce, chronic illness, teasing or hospitalization, just to name a few.

Generally speaking, bibliotherapy is designed to do the following:

* provide information

* provide insight

* stimulate discussion about problems

* communicate new values and attitudes

* create awareness that other people have similar problems

* provide realistic solutions to problems

Tips for Using Bibliotherapy

1) Do a "need" inventory. What is it that you or your child is struggling with? Sleeping issues? A loss? Bullying? Maybe your teen needs guidance in the dating world. Or your partner is facing a medical diagnosis. Zero in on the issue at hand so you can streamline your bibliotherapy search.

2) Google it. Now that you know what theme you're looking for, do an online search for books on the subject. You can also search online book stores and book lover websites for best selling books.

3) Set aside time. Once you have your book, make time to read it. If it's for your child, encourage but don't command the reading of it. Allow curiosity to take hold.

4) Quiet your mind and reflect. After you've completed reading, still your mind and reflect on what you've learned. Whether it's new information, tips or techniques, give yourself space for them to find a comfortable place within you.

5) Reach out if reading isn't enough. Though bibliotherapy is a meaningful experience, sometimes it doesn't completely offer all the help you need. If so, consider reaching out to a professional for further support.

15 Mental Fitness Tips

1. Learn to Relax: Allow yourself to let go of inner tensions by giving yourself a “mini vacation.” Give your mind a break by becoming engrossed in a good book, watching a movie, listening to music, taking a walk, working on a hobby, meditating or similar activity that is relaxing for you.

2. Be Kind To Yourself: People are frequently too hard on themselves when things don’t go right. Tune into your self talk, and counteract your negative thoughts about yourself with positive statements.

3. Eat Properly: Nutrition has a direct impact on feeling mentally positive. Limit your intake of sugar, fat, salt, caffeine and alcohol and help yourself stay mentally fit.

4. Find A Friend: Friendships are very important to mental fitness. Working on developing and maintaining friendships is one of the best ways to continue growing as a person. Expressing feelings and ideas to another person can help us clarify what’s truly important to ourselves.

5. Learn to Say “No”: Often people feel the need to respond immediately when a friend or family member make a request. Help yourself set limits by avoiding the quick “knee jerk” response in the affirmative. Instead, let them know you will get back to them shortly. Then do a check of your schedule; ask yourself if you really want to add to your load. Give yourself permission to say “No” when you are too busy to take on additional commitments of your time or energy.

6. Exercise: Check with your doctor about what level is best for you. Even a brisk 15-minute walk, three times a week does wonders for how you think and feel.

7. Do It Now: Procrastination can lead to negative feelings about yourself. One doesn’t have to go to extremes, but it can feel very satisfying at the end of the day to have accomplished a hard task or met a difficult situation head-on.

8. Adapt To Rather Than Resist Change: Change is inevitable and is a necessary part of life. The important thing is to be patient with yourself when you are going through change, and to give yourself time to go through the phases of transition. Realize it takes time to let go of the old and embrace the new.

9. Test Your Assumptions: Sometimes in our interactions with other people, we make the most incredible assumptions and act as if they are true. Rather than assuming, it might be worth the risk to ask directly what was meant.

10. Express Your Feelings: Emotions are a natural response to life. It is important to find ways to express your feelings. Journaling your thoughts is one way that can help you clarify what you are feeling. Once you have identified your feelings, you may find it easier to share them with others.

11. Grieve Losses: Sadness and grief are natural and appropriate responses to the losses which we all experience. Grief over the loss of a love one can be very painful and may last for some time. By being kind and allowing ourselves the time to grieve, we have the potential to be stronger than ever

12. Rest: Get a good night’s sleep. Not everyone needs the same amount of sleep, but it should be restful sleep. There are many techniques available to help promote relaxation; or, you might want to check with your doctor rather than assuming your restless sleep is simply something you have to live with.

13. Review Your “Shoulds”: If you feel stuck by some things you “Should” be doing and aren’t, set a time limit by which you will either have them done or get rid of them. Staying stuck in the middle is a good way to punish yourself and cause mental anguish and stress.

14. Have A Laugh: Nurture your sense of humor, especially about yourself. Trying to see the humorous side of things makes even the most difficult situations easier to bear. Laughter is good medicine. Being too serious limits your ability to enjoy life.

15. Ask For Help: If you need emotional support or just someone to talk to, don’t be afraid to ask for it. There are times in life when everyone must look outside themselves for comfort and advice. If friends can do the job, ask them to help. If not, be assured that professional help is available through your employee assistance program.

Reference

University of Washington.

Depression and Your Child: How a Book is Born

Watch my book "Depression and Your Child: A Guide for Parents and Caregivers" by The Rowman and Littlefield Publishing Group go from proposal to full on manuscript, from considered book covers to the one chosen, from publicity buzz to galley signings.

This is how a book is born.

Research Says Self-Help Surfing and Reading Aid in Reducing Depression

Reading self-help books and browsing internet sites could be just what the doctor ordered to help with symptoms of severe depression, according to a new study published today in the British Medical Journal (BMJ).

An international team of researchers seeking treatment options for depression – a debilitating condition that affects at least 14.8 million in the U.S. – conducted a meta-analysis of multiple studies involving 2,470 people with varying levels of depression and found that ‘low intensity’ treatment had significant effects on severely depressed people.

Treatment through websites and self-help books (also known as bibliotherapy) worked for both severely and less severely depressed patients, said the researchers, and they recommended these "low intensity" therapies as a first step and initial treatment for depression.

Psychologist Dr. Deborah Serani, author of Living With Depression, has researched bibliotherapy and the use of books and websites in treating depression and says this can help patients in several very important ways.

“They help with psychoeducation, which is a hallmark first step in understanding illness,” she says. “Books and websites explain information in easy to understand terms and can be accessed at any time, helping to make people feel less alone in their struggle.”

“They aid in reducing stigma by addressing the myths of mental illness, thereby allowing a depressed person to not feel shame about having this illness. It also invites readers to find global, local or online resources and support should they want to be part of a self-help community.”

“They also provide hope, especially when self-help books and websites detail personal stories of children or adults, and even high profile celebrities, who've moved through their depression successfully."

For more, read here

Hurricane Sandy: How to Cope with Disaster

In light of the devastation and suffering from the aftermath Hurricane Sandy, this list is offered to help individuals understand Disaster Reactions.

Having a direct or indirect traumatic experience sets into motion a variety of psychological reactions. These psychological reactions have physical, cognitive, emotional and behavioral presentations. This list is not exhaustive but will help show some of the reactions you might experience.

Psychological Reactions

•Anger

•Anxiety

•Apathy

•Appetite change

•Avoidance

•Blame

•Confusion

•Denial

•Depression

•Difficulty concentrating

•Difficulty making decisions

•Difficulty using logic

•Difficulty naming objects

•Difficulty focusing

•Disorientation

•Distortions in time perspective

•Exaggerated startle reaction

•Excessive worry about safety of others

•Emotional numbing

•Fatigue

•Faintness or dizziness

•Fearfulness

•Feelings of being unappreciated

•Feelings of inadequacy

•Feelings of loss

•Feelings of gratefulness for being alive

•Feelings of isolation or abandonment

•Feeling high, heroic, invulnerable

•Feeling a “lump in the throat”

•Feeling uncoordinated

•Forgetfulness

•Frustration

•Grief

•Guilt

•Headaches

•Helplessness

•Hyperactivity or an inability to rest

•Increased heartbeat, respiration, blood pressure

•Increased alcohol use or substance abuse

•Intense concern for family members

•Inability to express self verbally or in writing

•Irritability

•Letdown

•Loss of appetite

•Loss of objectivity

•Lower back pain

•Memory problems

•Muffled hearing

•Nausea

•Nightmares

•Numbness

•Pains in chest

•Periods of crying

•Persistent interest in the event

•Persistent or obsessive thoughts

•Sense of unreality

•Shock

•Sleep disturbance

•Slowness of thinking

•Social withdrawal

•Soreness in muscles

•Stomach and muscle cramps

•Strong identification with victims

•Strong identification with survivors

•Sweating or chills

•Tremors, especially of hand, lips, eyes

•Trouble catching breath

•Visual flashbacks

•Withdrawal

Coping with Disaster Stress

1. Stay active. Falling into passivity can worsen psychological and physical disaster reactions.

2. Resume a normal routine as soon as possible.

3. Remind yourself that reactions you're having are considered part of the trauma cycle. It's especially important to teach children that these reactions are "normal".

4. Be aware of numbing the pain with overuse of drugs or alcohol. And avoid caffeine as its effects can amplify anxiety and stress response.

5. Talk about your experience.

6. It's okay to spend some time by yourself, or on the other hand, feel the need to be with others.

7. Avoid over-exposure to media images and newscasts.

8. Realize those around you are also under stress and may not react in a manner you'd normally expect.

9. Understand that chaos may be the "new normal" and that a return to stability may be days, week or months away.

10. Make decisions that will give you the control over your life.

If you find that post-trauma stress, depression or anxiety is too much for you to handle on your own, reach out for help. If you live in the ground zero or hard hit areas of Super Storm Sandy, there will be mental health support service personnel on stand-by, and there is always help found at The American Red Cross.

How to Find A Good Psychotherapist

It is a difficult, yet brave and courageous moment when someone makes the decision to pursue mental health therapy. But more difficult than the decision to go to therapy is the decision of who to go to for therapy.

So, how does someone find a good therapist?

Types of Therapists

First, it's important to think about the type of therapist you think is best for your presenting symptoms and issues. There are many kinds of mental health therapists, but sometimes understanding "who does what" can be confusing. Here is a list to help identify the specialties and degrees of therapists.

Psychologists are generally Doctors of Philosophy (Ph.D.), Doctors of Psychology (Psy.D.), or Doctors of Education (Ed.D.) who must complete at least four years of post graduate school, however, only those who have been licensed can call themselves Psychologists. Licensed practicing psychologists are specifically trained in the mind and behavior as well as diagnosis, assessment and treatment of mental, emotional, and behavioral disorders. The treatment provided is "talk therapy". It is important to know that not all psychologists are experienced therapists. Some specialize in areas such as statistical research or industrial psychology, and may have little experience treating people. Therefore, it is important to inquire about the caliber of clinical experiences. Psychologists do not prescribe medication.

Clinical Social Workers (C.S.W.) usually have earned at least a Masters' Degree, which is two years of graduate school, and some Social Workers obtain a doctoral degree (D.S.W.) . Clinical Social Workers credentials may vary by state, but these are the most common: B.S.W. (Bachelor's of Social Work), M.S.W. (Master's of Social Work), A.C.S.W. (Academy of Certified Social Workers), or D.C.S.W. (Diplomate of Clinical Social Work). Although there are exceptions, most licensed clinical social workers generally have an "L" in front of their degree (L.C.S.W.) communicating that they are a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Clinical Social Workers also receive training in the prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of mental, behavioral, and emotional disorders. Their goal is to enhance and maintain physical, psychological, and social functioning in who they treat.

Psychiatrists (M.D.) complete a medical degree like any other physician, followed by a four-year psychiatry specialty. Psychiatrists prescribe medication yet sometimes do psychotherapy with patients. Psychiatrists, unlike Psychologists, have the background and experience to understand how the body and the mind as a whole react when psychiatric medication is given, and have extensively studied the total body including brain biochemistry, tissues, glands, and organs, leading to a fundamental understanding of how these all interact and react to the patient's environment in mental health and mental illness.

Licensed Marriage Family Therapists (L.M.F.T.) and Professional Counselors (L.P.C.) usually have two years of graduate school and have earned at least a Masters' Degree such as: M.A. (Master of Arts), M.S. (Master of Science) or M.Ed. (Master of Education). Marriage and Family Therapists have additional specialized training in the area of family therapy.

Certified Counselors and Mental Health Counselors are typically trained in drug or alcohol abuse specialties. A Certified Addiction Counselor (C.A.C.) or a Certified Alcohol Counselor, (C.A.C.) may have a I, II, or III added to their degree signifying the level of training in counseling (CAC-I, for example). A C.A.C. Counselor may or may not have a master's degree. Counselors are trained for supportive therapy. C.A.C's work within the field of alcoholism and substance abuse, providing education, consultation, counseling, aftercare, recovery and advocacy.

Religious/Theology/Pastoral Counselors are counselors who are clergy, pastors or who have a Master of Divinity (M.Div.) degree, or a Doctorate in Theology (Th.D.) from a seminary or rabbinical school, with additional training in therapy. These spiritual counselors are trained in both psychology and theology and thus can address psychological, religious and spiritual issues.

Counseling Nurses, Psychiatric Nurses and Nurse Practitioners comprise a growing segment of mental health treatment professionals. They display the credentials R.N. (Registered Nurse), R.N.P. (Registered Nurse Practitioner) or M.S.N. (Masters of Science in Nursing). A Psychiatric Nurse is a registered nurse with a master's degree who has been trained in individual, group, and/or family psychotherapy. The Psychiatric Nurse and the Nurse Practitioner view individuals from a holistic perspective, taking into account both physical and mental health needs while focusing on human behavior.

From Word of Mouth To Yellow Pages

Now that you know the kind of therapists out there, how do you choose one? Well, here are a few ways to find a good therapist.

1) Word of Mouth: Asking a friend or relative that you trust can be a great way of finding a reliable therapist. When a clinician is highly regarded, there is usually a buzz in the community about him or her.

2) Professional Referrals: Contacting your general physician, or inquiring with school guidance and special service staff if you are looking for someone to work with your child are good ideas. Contacting local psychological, psychiatric or counseling organizations can be very helpful in pointing you in a direction as well.

3) Online Searches: The internet makes searching for a specific therapist easy. Websites like Psychology Today , Good Therapy and Network Therapy and other general search engines take some of the work out of finding a skilled clinician in your area. Just make sure to double check credentials when working this way - and realize that not all therapists may be part of this online directory.

4) Insurance Company: If you have an insurance company, or must work through a managed care group, call them directly and ask them to give you a few names of therapists in your area, and ones that specialize in the disorders or issues you're experiencing.

5) Church, Temple Faith Based Community: Many churches and temples have outreach programs where the person in charge can help you find a therapist.

6) Yellow Pages: Many times I get calls from people who look me up in the Yellow Pages. With nowhere else to turn, people cold-call with the hopes of finding a good therapist. This experience can be frustrating and may lead you down a bumpy road of contacting therapists who do not specialize in what you need. If possible, try one of the other strategies listed above to help you find a good therapist.

The Initial Phone Call

Once you have a few names, find the time to call each one and talk on the phone with him or her. You can get a great feel for a professional during this informal chat. If you make a connection on the phone, arrange for an appointment to consult with the therapist. I call this "the meet and greet" consult where I get to meet the potential patient, assess the symptoms and issues and make sure that my training and expertise are appropriate for the necessary treatment. This is a time where the potential patient gets to know me as well, how I'll work, my approach to treatment and the parameters of therapy. Though comfort and connection are necessary factors, so too are making sure that the therapist of your choice is educated, seasoned and a specialist in what you need help with.

Questions to Ask: Most therapists welcome the opportunity to answer any questions that you may have. Here are some of the most important ones to consider:

1. What is your professional training and degree?

2. How much specialized training and experience do you have with what I'm experiencing?

3. What theoretical school or kind of treatment do you practice?

4. How long are the sessions?

5. What is the cost of each session?

5. How does insurance work with mental health therapy?

6. What is your policy on cancelled appointments?

7. Have you been in therapy yourself? If so, how long?

8. Is it possible to reach you after hours in the event of an emergency or crisis? If so, how?

9. Do you receive regular supervision on your cases or belong to a peer supervision group?

10. What professional organizations do you belong to?

Good Therapy

Once these bases are all covered, and you settle into treatment, you should slowly begin to feel better. Your awareness will widen and you will find yourself thinking in new ways about your situations and experiences in life. You'll learn skills and techniques to deal with your unique issues and soon a new you and a new world will unfold before you.

It's Brain Awareness Week

Brain Awareness Week is an inspirational global campaign that unites those who share an interest in elevating public awareness about the progress and benefits of brain and nervous system research.

Brain Awareness Week runs from March 12th through 18th and is a time when scientists, researchers, and educators share the latest information in the area of neuroscience.

Brain health is vital to our mental and physical well-being, so go out and celebrate your brain. I'm going to attempt some super difficult crosswords puzzles. Make sure I eat green leafy vegetables, maybe some extra fish this week - and take my brain for a longer walk than usual.

What will you do this week to maximize your brain health?

Random Acts of Kindness Week

Random Acts of Kindness Week is February 13th thru the 19th here in the United States and Canada.

The Random Acts of Kindness™ Foundation is the official organization of the kindness movement , whose aim is to help everyone create a better world by spreading awareness and increasing engagement in kind actions.

The Random Acts of Kindness™ Foundation is international, with kindness days and weeks sponsored around the globe. They provide free educational and community ideas, guidance, and other resources to promote kindness.

Research shows that tiny acts of kindness ripple exponentially across social experiences - essentially sparking a contagiousness of generosity and cooperativeness. Simple stated, a single kind act influences dozens more.

So be kind and pay it forward!

Citation:
Fowler, H. & Christakis, N. (2010). Cooperative behavior cascades in human social networks. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Vol. 107(10): 5334-5338

Broken Heart Syndrome

Valentine’s Day is not always a candy coated day of love and romance. For many who've lost a loved one, suffered a break up or are on the brink of separation or divorce, this day is anything but sweet. Learning about Broken Heart Syndrome can help you heal from your love trauma and make it through emotional calendar events like this.

Facts about Broken Heart Syndrome

•Profound emotional sadness doesn't just weigh heavy on your mind. It significantly impacts your body.

•The depths of being heart-broken lowers your immune system, increases blood pressure and heart rate and causes significant muscle weakness, just to name a few.

•Stress from heartbreak grief can flood the body with hormones, specifically Cortisol, which causes that heavy-achy-feeling you get in your chest area.

•The heartache that comes from lost love can increase the likelihood of a heart attack. In fact, a recent study showed that a person who has a tendency to be depressed and has recently suffered a love trauma was 5 times more likely to die than a person with depression alone or a heart condition alone.

•The actual medical term for this deeply emotional mind/body experience is called Stress Cardiomyopathy also known as Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy. The colloquial term: A broken heart.

•Women are ten times more likely to suffer from Broken Heart Syndrome than men.

Tips for preventing “Broken Heart Syndrome”

•Take control. Prepare yourself for the holiday crush that comes from television, radio, online and in print. Limit your exposure to such things if the overblown seasonal attention becomes too much.

•Take stock in knowing that you’re not alone in feeling lonely, letdown or unhappy during this time. Many are quietly suffering through just like you.

•Don't hold in your emotional pain. Studies show that expressing emotions greatly reduces the body's stress response.

•Don't put a time limit on your grief. And don't let others set one for you either. Your healing time for this love trauma is uniquely yours.

•Make sure you tend to your physical needs. Softness, warmth and touch can be healing. Feed your other senses too – music, scents, beauty - don’t forget to taste the world.

•Don't ignore chronic aches or pains. Check in with your physician to make sure that you’re medically fit.

•Make sure you eat well, choosing healthy foods to keep you nourished during difficult times.

•Keep a routine sleep schedule. If you require medication to help you with sleeping, or to regulate moods or for cardiac management, don't feel ashamed. You're going through a significantly stressful time.

•A broken heart leaves many people feeling stunned and stuck. Move. Get out of bed. Take a shower. Go for a walk. Feel the sun on your face.

•If you feel fragile, limit your exposure to emotionally driven holiday events. That doesn't mean you should avoid people completely. Decide what social connections will give you support, and which ones may be too taxing.

•Don't forget your spiritual side. Prayer, even meditation, has been shown to comfort a broken heart.

•Above all, remember: A broken heart doesn’t make you unlovable. At this moment in time, you are healing. But remind yourself to be open when love presents itself again.

References

Behrens, C.B . et. al. (2010). Major depression as a potential trigger for Takitsubo Cardiomyopathy. International Journal of Cardiology, 15;140(2):e40-2.

Bybee, K.A. & Prasaad, A. (2008). Stress related cardiomyopathy syndromes. Circulation: Journal of the American Heart Association, 118-397-409.

January is National Mentoring Month

There are few relationships in life that are more influential than those between a mentor and a young person.

I know this from both sides of the coin.

You see, I have had many a mentor in my life growing up. A person who took a unique interest in me, fostered my growth and guided me onward. And I've also been a mentor to many as well., paying the experience forward.

Being involved in mentoring has been so rewarding and meaningful to me. In fact, research shows that mentoring is an extraordinary experience for all involved.

January is National Mentoring Month.

Be mentor.

Change a life.

And transform your own.

Link here for more information.

5 Tips for Kicking Post-Holiday Blues

As the holiday season comes to an end, so, too, does the high octane way you've planned, shopped, traveled, and socialized. The holiday momentum of go, go, go, going screeches to a grinding halt.

Problem is, all the neurochemistry you needed to help you get through the holidays - stress hormones called cortisol and adrenaline – are leaving you feeling burned out, irritable, and just plain cranky.

Maybe your hopes for holidays with family and friends were unmet, and you now have to deal with emotional let-down. Then there's the march of the holiday bills -and thinking about paying the piper is not only depleting your bank account but your emotional well-being. All of these experiences are symptoms of Post Holiday Blues.

5 Tips to Kick the Blues

1. Sleep. After prolonged periods of stress, the body needs more sleep to slow the production of cortisol and adrenaline. Schedule a pajama day to just do nothing and rest. Consider unplugging from technology to give yourself some time to refuel.

2. Exercise. Moving your body at least 30 minutes a day will help rid excess adrenaline and cortisol that keep you from relaxing and/or sleeping soundly. Walk, run, and play with the dog. Have a catch with the kids. Just move your body.

3. Look forward. Keep your eyes on the next prize. The next birthday, an upcoming concert, a sporting event, etc. This keeps you forward-looking into the year rather than concentrating on the past holidays.

4. Relive the Memories. Objects and experiences help us embrace memories. Make sure you wear that new shirt or have the holiday photos somewhere in view. Taking time to appreciate the best-loved holiday moments will offset sadness.

5. Talk about it. Sharing your emotional experiences with another can help you problem solve and feel connected, reducing the likelihood of depression taking hold. Talking is also a great way of revisiting happy moments, making sense of sad experiences and solidifying self-decision making.

Tips for Keeping the "You" in Yuletide

The holiday season is not just a time for traditional festivities, merry making, good will and celebrating with loved ones. For some, it's the loneliest time of the year. For others, sadness of missing a loved one or recovering from a life-changing trauma tinges the season. Many fall into despair as self-reflection takes hold, measuring past accomplishment and failures. And then there are those who begin a downward spiral into the depths of depression.

Worries about job security, foreclosures, the ailing economy, and everyday living can make us all vulnerable during the holiday crush. Here are some tips to help you move through the holiday season as stress free as possible.

"You" Alone

• Combat loneliness. To offset social isolation, take advantage of free holiday activities. Participate in community events like tree or menorah lightings, free concerts, food or clothing drives, holiday banquets or community brunches.

• Be proactive. Don't wait to be invited somewhere. Invite someone over.

• Create new rituals. If old holiday traditions are no longer possible to do, find new ways to celebrate the season. Invent new rituals, traditions or remembrances.

• Take Care. Taking care of "you" during the holiday season helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with sadness and stress. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Eat well and make sure you get enough healthy sleep.

• Don't be shy to ask for support. Accepting help from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens your resilience and ability to manage the holiday season.

• Solidify bonds. Use the holidays as a time to reconnect with friends and family and strengthen your support network.

"You" with Others

• Be realistic. Unrealistic expectations are the single biggest cause of holiday depression. Unrealistic hopes that everything will be perfect, and everyone will be happy leads to disappointment, frustration and can trigger a depressive relapse.

• Be aware. Family conflicts can resurface during the holiday season. Try to avoid falling into old behavioral patterns with others. Be creative with seating or invite people to different occasions at different times. If necessary, avoid friction altogether by taking yourself out of the social equation with your own holiday celebration.

• Don't overschedule yourself. Most of our lives are already overscheduled, even before adding in holiday visits, religious events, and travel. Make plans carefully in advance and don't be afraid to say "no" if you feel burdened.

• Don't confuse "stuff" with "love". Make a budget and stick to it. Most of all, remember to give the gift of time to others. Long after the $100 video games are forgotten, kids will remember sledding down hills with you.

• Plan your time well. Don't put off shopping for food and presents. Feelings of helpless, guilt and hopelessness can give way when things are left to the last minute.

• Stay focused. Remember to focus on what you can control, not what's beyond your control. And don't be afraid to delegate what you might need help with.

The Power of Gratitude

Gratitude is the “forgotten factor” in happiness research.

Scientists are latecomers to the concept of gratitude. Religions and philosophies have long embraced gratitude as an indispensable manifestation of virtue, and an integral component of health, wholeness, and well-being.

Through conducting highly focused, cutting-edge studies on the nature of gratitude, its causes, and its consequences, we hope to shed important scientific light on this important concept.

University of Miami psychology professor Michael McCullough, who has studied people who are asked to be regularly thankful, said: "When you are stopping and counting your blessings, you are sort of hijacking your emotional system." What McCullough means is that by taking inventory of what you are thankful about directs you attention to good things.

An "Attitude of Gratitude" can soften a bad mood, a tough day or a broken heart. It also stretches the margins of your well-being.

The Power of "What"

Sometimes the question "why?" is a good one. Like, why can't we live in a more peaceful world? Or why did I eat *all* those cookies? And why don't we call mustaches mouthbrows?

But there are times - especially during a crisis - when "why" may not the best puzzle to solve. When you're in an emotional entanglement, a difficult predicament or a physical hardship, asking "what" will do more.

What has directionality.

Why keeps you stuck in circular thinking.

What offers solutions.

Why offers no game plan.

So, the next time you find yourself in a bad place, ask yourself:

"What can I do to make things better?

not

"Why is this happening to me?

Once the crisis is over THEN you can search for the "Why".

High Profile People Who Talk Openly About Mental Illness

Take a look at some of the celebrities who live with a mental illness.

My book, "Living with Depression" is officially on sale, and includes a list of over 400 high profile people that live with a mood disorder. Actors, artists, athletes, comedians, entrepreneurs, musicians, world leaders, sports legends and many famous others from all different fields - and all different countries.

The more that high profile people share their experiences with depression, the more stigma gets its butt kicked. There's no shame living with a mental illness - and after you learn about the well-known men and women who do, you're sure to decide you're in good company.

For more information, link here.

I Love NY: Same Sex Marriage Is Law

A healthy sense of self includes being validated and recognized by others. Also vital is the ability to share the rights and liberties of those around you.

Nice job, New York. It's about time.

Two Takes on Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a holiday that is marked world-wide. Countries such as the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, China and Japan, just to name a few, give moms a special day shout-out on the yearly calendar.

Historically, Mother's Day has been a day where children and other family members honor mothers or individuals who are nurturing and caretaking in maternal ways. For some, it's a day of celebration, of expressing one's love and appreciation for a mothering figure. The day is met with happiness and a full heart.

However, for others, Mother's Day is not so easy. It can bring forth sadness, loss and yearning if one's mother has died. Or if a mother has lost a child, it can become an excruciating day filled with grief. Anger and resentment can give way if a person has not had a good relationship with his or her mother. There are many more examples....too many to list in this post.

In my work, landmark days, anniversary dates or holidays of any kind can be especially difficult for anyone who has experienced loss, death or the recognition of toxicity in a relationship. Of all the days in the calendar year, Mother's Day and Father's Day can evoke the most profound emotional responses.

To those of you who struggle with this day, know that you're not alone. Give yourself permission to feel and think whatever may come from within. It's important for your to mother yourself.

References:

Hinton, C. (2004). Silent grief. Portland: New Leaf Press.

Pollock, G. H. (1970). Anniversary reactions, trauma, and mourning. Psychoanalytic Quarterly, 39: 347-371.

Comfort Foods Improve Mood

A recent study has noted that turning to comfort foods can increase mood and decrease loneliness.

The paper, to be published in the journal Psychological Science, reports that when we eat comfort foods, we reconnect with warm feelings and meaningful associations to others. Jordan Troisi, co-author of the study, noted that even just thinking about the comfort food or writing about it increased emotional well being.

No doubt that the kinds of comfort foods will differ in definition from person to person, but healthy or indulgent, eating your favorite can summon a better mood.

Like the picture above, my favorite comfort food would be soup related. Indulgent would be a chocolate croissant and a cuppa. What's your favorite comfort food?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a type of psychotherapy that helps you accept the difficulties that come with life. ACT has been around for a long time, but seems to be gaining media attention lately. Categorically speaking, ACT is a form of mindfulness based therapy, theorizing that greater well-being can be attained by overcoming negative thoughts and feelings. Essentially, ACT looks at your character traits and behaviors to assist you in reducing avoidant coping styles. ACT also addresses your commitment to making changes, and what to do about it when you can't stick to your goals.

ACT focuses on 3 areas:

Accept your reactions and be present
Choose a valued direction
Take action.

Acceptance
Whether it be a situation you cannot control, a personality trait that is hard to change or an emotion that overwhelms, accepting it can allow you to move forward. Obsessing, worrying and playing things over and over keep you stuck. In this sense, asking why can leave you helpless. ACT invites you to accept the reality and work with what you have.

Some acceptance strategies include:

1. Letting feelings or thoughts happen without the impulse to act on them.
2. Observe your weaknesses but take note of your strengths.
3. Give yourself permission to not be good at everything.
4. Acknowledge the difficulty in your life without escaping from it or avoiding it.
5. Realize that you can be in control of how you react, think and feel.

Defusion
Another aspect of ACT is the skill-set of learning how to cognitively defuse psychologically heightened experiences. Defusion involves realizing thoughts and feelings for what they really are, like passing sensations or irrational things that we tell ourselves - instead of what we think they are like feelings that will never end or factual truths. The goal of defusion is not to help you avoid the experience, but to make it more manageable for you.

Some defusion strategies include

1. Observe what you are feeling. What are the physical sensations?
2. Notice the way you are talking to yourself as these feelings are experienced.
3. What interpretations are you making about your experience? Are they based in reality?
4. Grab onto the strands of your negative self-talk and counter them with realistic ones.
5. Now re-evaluate your experience with your new-found outlook.

Summary

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is not a long term treatment. The ACT experience of reworking your verbal connections to thoughts and feelings, known as comprehensive distancing, can be extremely helpful in the treatment of depression, anxiety and many other psychological disorders. For a good reference on ACT, link here.