Where were you on 9/11?
World Suicide Awareness Day is September 10th
Suicide is responsible for almost one million deaths every year.
Another way to look at this is how Dr. Catherine Le Galès-Camus, from the World Health Organization , describes the rate of suicide each year: "Worldwide, more people die from suicide than from all homicides and wars combined."
Those statistics always astonish me. Maybe because many who commit suicide let us know in ways, subtle and overt, of their intentions. Click here for warning signs you can learn about. Then there are others like 9/11 Survivor Kenny Johannemann - who spiral into the depths of depression, and just leave this world without giving anyone notice. (Trigger alert for the linked story)
It will be 25 years since my dear friend killed herself, and it still continues to linger in my life in a haunting way. If you know someone who is feeling hopeless and in utter despair, or if you, yourself, are battling urges to end your life, please talk to someone. Psych Central offers a great list of suicide resources as does the International Association for Suicide Prevention
The legacy of suicide touches many and it never fades with time.
Monogamy & Your Genes
Proceedings of the National Association of Science has reported that genetics may contribute to man's ability to be monogamous.
Men who possessed a gene variant in AVPR1A, which regulates the hormone Vasopressin, experienced less bonding and more discord in long-term relationships. Incidentally, this is the the first time that science has shown a direct link between a man's genes and monogamy. For more on this interesting research, read here
Understanding neurobiological tendencies can help us make sense of things in our life. But don't forget to include your unique personal history when looking at behavior. So much contributes to our psychological makeup!
Nipping Nosy Nelly
Saw a great article in USA Today Magazine about how to manage nosy people and their boundary crossing questions. People who gossip or need to know your business are often driven by psychological needs.
Author Peggy Post says that if you are caught off guard, try not to fall into the trap of responding in shock with the truth. That's what a nosy person is hoping you'll do. Instead, try one of these proven strategies:
Use humor. Make a joke out of the question. If asked, "Did you lose a bundle when you sold your house?" Respond with, "Why, are you offering to make up the difference?" If asked, "Are your daughter's children adopted?" Respond with, "They do have their own distinct personalities, don't they?"
Be honest. "How much financial aid is your son getting for college?" Respond with, "I'm not comfortable discussing this." Or you can just say, "My mother always told me never to talk about money."
Give it right back. Turn the tables with this one-size-fits-all response to a nosy question: "Why do you ask?" This works with everything from "Why are you going to the doctor?" to "Do you color your hair?"
Establish conversational boundaries. Use body language to say "Don't go there." Cross your arms. Look 'em in the eye. Say, "Oh, I don't think that's something I'm going to discuss."
Change the subject. This is a more passive approach that can be effective for questions such as "How much did you pay for that?" Respond with, "I bought it at Macy's, and they were having and they were having a great sale. Can you believe all that new construction at the mall?"
Good suggestions, don't you think?
Hope Therapy and Resistance
Over at one of my favorite blogs, PsychCentral, is a fascinating post about the growing trend of Hope Therapy
Dr. Jennifer Cheavens tells us that “Hope therapy seeks to build on strengths people have, or teach them how to develop those strengths. We focus not on what is wrong, but on ways to help people live up to their potential.”
Cheavens said hope differs from optimism and can be taught. "If you feel you know how to get what you want out of life, and you have that desire to make that happen, then you have hope."
I'd just like to add something. And I think it is an important footnote. Should you find yourself aware of what you need to do, have the skills to do it and still cannot make changes, you need to look at Resistance .
Resistance is a fascinating psychoanalytic phenomenon. It should not be viewed as negative or undermining, but rather as road block. Analyzing the reasons for resistance can illuminate, educate and inform. And answers are good things.
So if you find yourself stuck, ambivalent or unable to change, don't think that you don't have hope. Don't think that you don't have the skills to get you where you want to go. Think resistance - and dive on in and look at the reasons.
The Art of Listening
You Are a Great Listener |
 You are the perfect person to talk to. You are patient, empathetic, and encouraging. You provide subtle, but important, feedback. You let people say everything that needs to be said before you weigh in. |
Listening is an important and meaningful experience. It's not just about hearing what a person says. It's so much more.
I listen for a living - schooled for many years in the art and practice of it. But you don't need a lot of training to become a good listener. Here's some tips for learning how to be a good listener.
I am so gonna forward this blogpost to my husband ;)
Addiction and Your Genes
I remember trying my first (and only) cigarette when I was twelve years old.
I lit it up, took a puff and decided that it was truly a hideous thing.
I hated it. The taste. The smell. Nothing about the experience made me feel good. In fact, I felt nauseous. But there are many people who get a "high" right from cigarette one. And it becomes an addiction thereon in.
Research over the last few years has shown us how addiction has a great deal to do with genetic makeup. Read more about how a nicotine receptor gene makes it harder for individuals to kick the smoking habit. This explains why some take to smoking right away, and why others, like me, don't go past the puff of one.
Now, there must be a chocolate receptor gene that I have, but that is for another post, another day.