Be Good To Your Brain. It's Brain Awareness Week

I'm a big fan of my Brain.

It's such a totally cool organ. Without it, I couldn't do anything, really.

No doubt that you probably feel the same way.

Brain health is vital to our mental and physical well-being. And as time marches on, exciting research and technologies will bring us even greater understanding of how our Brains work and offer insight into illness and disease.

So, now that you know it's Brain Awareness Week, go out and celebrate your Brain. I'm going to attempt some super difficult crosswords puzzles. Make sure I eat green leafy vegetables. Take my Brain for a longer walk than usual. And get a manicure. Hey, I daydream when I get one, so I am totally working out the ol' bean!

For more Brain tips go here and here.

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Friday Fiction - This Is Not The End

Welcome to Friday Fiction!

I'm so glad you stopped by.

This week's host is Rhonda at Beach Reads.

She'd love you to click on over and read some awesome short stories.

* * * * *

I have spent several hours this week working on my next post – overcoming panic attacks. However, as the article is still hours from completion, I thought I would share something different this week, by partaking in the wonderful ‘Friday Fiction’ run by Patty Wysong, at http://pattywysong.blogspot.com/

The story below, This Is Not The End is fiction, however, there is a story behind it. In 1996 our first child was lost due to an ectopic pregnancy. If you would like to read a testimony of our response to this tragedy, and of how the Lord went on to bless us with two healthy children, please click here

For years after the loss of our first little one, (whom we named Sakura) whenever my thoughts turned towards Sakura, I would hold my breath to choke back the tears as I comtemplated our loss. In October 2007 I sat down and wrote a fictional story about a couple who lost a child. As I wrote this story, Jesus touched my heart and healed me of that wound. Now when I think of Sakura, well, when you get to the end of the story below you will see how my thoughts have changed…


This Is Not the End

“Nurse, can I hold him please?” Richard Shepherd asked hesitantly.

The portly midwife frowned but did not move.

“Please. This is very important to me,” he added more forcefully. This was his life, not hers, and he would not be denied. He did not care if his request broke all conventions.

The nurse glanced at the doctor, who shrugged nonchalantly.

The midwife reluctantly placed the man’s tiny, three-kilo son in his large hands. He drew the baby to his chest, cradling the small head in his left hand.

The man stared at his son, mesmerised. The innocent little face had his mother’s brown eyes and button nose. But tears sprang into the man’s eyes when he noticed the delicate little ears and thatch of thick black hair. Though the baby’s face was uniquely his own, it was still so similar to that of his sister when she was newborn that it would have been hard to tell them apart.

As the man studied his son’s perfectly formed face his mind wandered. He envisioned the little fellow wrapped in a blanket and lying in his cradle, wearing the new blue jumpsuit they had bought for him last week. The man saw himself standing next to the cradle, savouring the moment that had taken nine months to come to fruition.

Then the vision changed and the father saw his son lying on the floor. His arms and legs were going in all directions as he batted away toys dangling from the infant playgym that even now awaited him at home. The baby smiled and giggled in delight when he saw his father watching him.

Then the man saw his son crawling across the dining room floor. But the little boy was not crawling slowly. Instead, he had developed what Richard had dubbed ‘speed crawling’ – it was the next best thing to running. His daughter had developed this talent by the age of eight months so he could see his son developing the same ability. Next the boy found a plastic golf club and swatted a toy golf ball all over the room. No obstacle could check his progress - that ball had to be whacked!

Richard returned his attention to the present and ran his fingers through the baby’s thick black hair. He knew he should be envious of his son’s full head of hair, yet he felt only loss. This sense of loss was further amplified by the realisation that his little son’s skin was, even at birth, darker than his pale Anglo-Saxon complexion.

The man felt his mind stray again. He visualised his son as an active one year old and taking his first steps across the living room. Kneeling in front of him with outstretched arms, the man egged him on. “Come on, little fella! Come to Papa!” Somehow the toddler managed to stagger across to his father without falling, who immediately tossed him giggling into the air.

The scene changed and it was the first day of school. Although he cut a fine figure in his new school uniform, his son also looked as he though had escaped from the pages of a comic book, due to the school bag on his back that was larger than his torso. He was tall now, yet smaller than other boys his age were, due to his petite Asian mother.

Months fled by in the man’s mind and he found himself watching his boy participating in the school sports carnival. It was time for the fifty-meter sprint. The boy met his father’s gaze and said, “I have a secret that’s gonna win me this race, Papa! When I swing my arms at my side like this, I can run faster than the wind!” And sure enough, once the whistle sounded he pumped his arms and legs like twin pairs of pistons and outstripped all of his classmates to win that first place ribbon. The father imagined his daughter, now in her early teens, sweeping her brother into her arms.

A voice shattered his reverie. “Mr Shepherd, I am sorry, but you need to pass him to me now.”

Angered at this invasion of his daydream, Richard’s eyes eventually registered the outstretched arms of the midwife. He looked down at the motionless form in his arms, his heart and mind buffeted by waves of shock. Only yesterday the baby had been so active in the womb, elbows and knees poking his small wife’s midriff almost painfully. Yet today, (Richard could barely find strength to finish the thought) today, his son made his arrival into the world stillborn.


Richard Shepherd placed the still, lifeless form of his son in the midwife’s hands, and forcing himself to his feet, moved over to stand beside his wife as she lay on the hospital bed. It had been a very difficult birth, and she was exhausted. He looked for words to encourage her, mindful that her loss outweighed his own, but found nothing. His heart was an empty, aching void. A depression thicker than a smothering woollen blanket prevented speech.

Aware of tears streaming down his cheeks, Richard met his wife’s gaze. To his surprise she lifted a bronzed hand to cup his face. “Darling,” she began, “this is not the end.”

“What do you mean?”

Somehow she managed a smile, “One day, you will stand before the Lord in heaven, and He will say to you, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant,’ and then He will take your right hand and say, ‘Come with me, Richard, there is someone here you’ve been waiting to meet.’ Then He will introduce you to a young man with auburn hair, a button nose, and a face that reminds you of our daughter. Our son.”

Richard buried his face in her neck and fought back the tears. But her words he took and hid in his heart.

This was not the end.

He would see his son again.


1 Corinthians 15:55 "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" (NIV)

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Virtual Art Therapy

There is no doubt that the creative process can be a meaningful experience. Expressive Therapies, for example, believe that one can emotionally heal through use of imagination and creative expression.

Art Therapy is but one type of Expressive Therapy. And Art.com offers a way for you to experience painting. Check out their artpad and paint your own virtual work of art.

I just painted this picture, which captures my feelings about the stormy rainy morning that's outside my window.

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Verdict: Not Guilty

In ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Dr Claire Weekes writes, Guilt can be a nightmare to some people suffering with nervous breakdown, particularly to those trying to set a high standard for themselves, such as religious people who lead a dedicated life. (1) (Note that clinical depression is called a nervous breakdown merely because during depression, our nervous system has broken down.)

While suffering from depression I suffered terribly from guilt, in fact, I found it one of depression’s most disturbing aspects. But from counselling, prayer, God’s Word, and through the liberating work of Jesus, I was eventually set free from it. In this post, I will examine several aspects of guilt during depression.


Ruminating Over Past Sins

When suffering from depression it is quite common to develop a habit of casting our gaze back to painful memories of recent or past sins and failures.

And since our mind is in an oversensitive, anxious state, we relive those memories with painful intensity. As guilt rises up to consume us, our face becomes hot, we lament and grieve over the past event, and wish we could go back in time and relive that part of our life and do it properly this time. These extremely discouraging episodes can last for hours.

However, there is good news for those who believe in Jesus and follow Him as Lord - we have assurance that our sins will be forgiven when we confess them. So if we recall a past or recent sin, we can confess that sin to God and receive His complete forgiveness.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Note that while we only need to confess a sin to God once, it is typical while depressed to keep confessing the same sin again and again, because the feeling of guilt remains. If this happens, we just need to keep reminding ourselves that we have already confessed the sin, it is forgiven, and we do not need to look at it, confess it, or feel guilty over it any longer. If the feelings of guilt remain, it is nothing to be alarmed about - our nervous system is exhausted and needs time to recover.

Here are more Bible verses that assure us of the forgiveness of our sins.

1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. Jesus’ blood, which He shed on the cross, does not just cover our sins - it cleanses us of them completely.

What is God’s attitude to our sins, once they have been forgiven? Does He keep tabs on them? No, this is what He does with them: You will hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:19 Jeremiah 31:34 goes on to tell us, "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."

So if God Himself chooses to forget our sins, who are we to keep dragging them up time and time again?

Satan will try to convince us that we are still guilty, but Romans 8:1 tells us the truth. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Another verse which comforted me greatly is 2 Corinthians 5:21 God made Jesus, who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Jesus we might become the righteousness of God. This means that when God looks at us, He does not see our old, sinful nature and problems. Instead, He sees the purity and righteousness of Jesus clothing us instead.

While digging through my diary yesterday, I found an entry that I wrote during the ‘recovering from depression’ phase of my life.

24/6/92 - When I sin I often feel really unworthy, although I always say sorry to God. I feel guilty and unworthy to go before Jesus, as though He is displeased with me. But yesterday He showed me that He wants to have a relationship with me above all else, and He wants that relationship to be in harmony at all times. When I sin and say sorry, that's all He expects. He wants me to say sorry so that the harmony can be restored to our relationship. That's why He died on the cross, so that mankind could again fellowship with Him and the Father and Holy Spirit, like when Adam and Eve fellowshipped with Him in the Garden of Eden before they sinned. Jesus has atoned for my sins so that I can have a harmonious relationship with Him at all times.

(A postscript here. If there is an issue of habitual sin in your life, and you are having trouble stopping it, please see a pastor or counsellor and get the sin dealt with. This will require repentance, ie, turning our back on the sin, and may also require counselling, inner healing, or spiritual warfare, and needs to centre on the cross of Christ.)


I’m Not Doing Enough for God

Another common cause for feeling guilty while depressed is when we look back at what we used to be like - zealously serving the Lord - and feel guilty that we are not serving God to that degree now. I recall how painful it could be going to church while I was in this phase. The pastor often gave stirring, convicting sermons on the importance of using our gifts to serve God. These sermons were actually aimed at healthy Christians in the church that warmed a pew on Sunday, but took no further steps in using their gifts to serve God. So, although the pastor was not talking to me, in my anxious I feared the sermons were aimed squarely at me and felt so guilty for my lack of current activity.

One day that same pastor asked me how I was going. When I told him briefly my condition, he surprised me by telling me to rest and recover – which was exactly what I needed to do. I needed to have realistic expectations, recognise that I was ill, and as with all illnesses, needed time to recover from it. This does not mean that we cannot serve God while depressed. During the initial phase of depression, I was such a mess that I honestly could not do anything much at all. However, once I had been placed on anti-depressants, received counselling, and read ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ I soon improved sufficiently to start serving God again. But I started slowly. First I joined a home group and played the piano. A few months later I taught Sunday school – and this is all I did for around four years. Finally, when I recovered completely, I was able to become more involved in serving God. So we have to be patient with ourselves. God knows we are ill, and He does not expect us to do more than we are able.

From my diary, 28/9/91 - It's funny, here I am, trying to live a normal life, yet I am suffering from a mental illness - me, the guy that nothing ever happened to, or never would happen to. And I feel kind of guilty, or ashamed, that I am this way. But it is not my fault - and there's nothing I can do about it. So I should not feel guilty or a failure - it is just one more thing for me to overcome through Jesus, one more victory to win.

Note that we do not have to run around looking for ways to serve God - we only have to do what He gives us to do. Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. How do we know which works God has prepared for us to do, rather than burning ourselves out running around trying to meet the needs of all people everywhere? We keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, be sensitive to the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit, pray, and be aware of what is going on around us. He will show us what to do.


I’ve Stepped Outside of God’s Will

While suffering from depression I was petrified that I had stepped outside of God’s will and that His response was to punish my by taking away my peace. In other words, I feared that He had caused the depression in order to punish me, which of course resulted in deep-seated guilt.

My counsellor taught me that I could not step outside God’s will, for He is greater than my ability to do such a thing. She taught me to pray, “What ever Your will is for my life, Lord, please bring it about - even without my obedience or cooperation. You are God; You are greater than me or the circumstances, so You are able to bring about Your will regardless.”

The following verse was crucial in setting me free from the deceitful fear that God was punishing me.

1 John 4:18 ‘There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.’

I wrote a diary entry when God drove this truth home into my heart. I learned a couple of weeks ago about 1 John 4:18 where it says the love of God has no fear - it says that there is no fear of punishment from God. So all of my fears that God was about to smash me over the head with a brick for stepping out of line were rubbish.


Getting Angry with God

The below diary entry shows common reactions we can have towards God during the initial stages of depression, when everything seems hopeless and black. Knowing that we should trust Him and not blaming Him results in more feelings of guilt.

8/2/90 –
I grow tired of repenting.
I tried to praise You in and through and for it,
I tried not to grumble, not to get bitter.
But I failed.
I’ve lost my temper with You,
I’ve blamed You.
How could You let this happen to me?
I feel so dirty, so unclean, because of the anger I have towards You.

My previous blog post, Has God Abandoned Me? deals with this issue in detail, so if you have not read it, I recommend popping over there when you get a chance.


Spiritual Warfare

A small postscript, if I may. If the feelings of guilt do not diminish over time, I recommend seeing a pastor or a Christian counsellor, as there may be a work of the enemy involved such as an unclean spirit of guilt. If such a thing is revealed by the Holy Spirit, the pastor or counsellor can take authority over that work of the enemy, break its grip on our life, and cast it away from us.

Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Matthew 16:19 “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." (Heaven in this passage refers to the spiritual realm where the enemy lives.)


The Judge’s Verdict

For those who are in Christ Jesus, the Judge in heaven has issued His verdict over our lives – and that verdict is: not guilty.


(1) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p86.

Download a pdf booklet of this blog's articles

All verses from NIV.

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Perseverance & Success

I believe that persistence is key in reaching any goal. I'm not always successful in things that I set out to do, but I can say that I always give it a high-octane, no-holds-barred, kick-butt try.

Tips:

1. Identify your goal. Define it and make it real. Whether you write it down or share your goals aloud, affirming it gets the ball rolling.

2. Start visualizing. Use your mind's eye to visualize how your dream would unfold. What do you need to get to your goal? How would the present and future look if you reach your goal?

3. Research your dream. Take the time to look into what it takes to reach your goal so as hold a realistic expectation as you persevere.

4. Choose positive support systems. Find people who will cheer you on and encourage you as you go. Stay away from nay-sayers. Their buzz kill will limit your stride and self-esteem.

5. Choose productive behaviors. Leave room for productive days and unproductive ones. Find inspirational quotes and use self-encouraging statements to nudge you along the climb.

6. Recall your previous successes. Remember the challenges you met and matched to help you when the going gets tough.

7. Don’t fear mistakes. For me, slips, gaffes and mistakes are necessary ingredients in the recipe for success. I expect them and view them as a way to better what it is that I'm doing. Not as a wall I've hit.

8. Keep a healthy lifestyle. I know I write this all the time, but making sure you keep a healthy focus in your mind body and soul can help you in so many ways.

9. Know when to let go. If you've persevered and haven't reached your goal, it's okay to set it aside. Whether you retire it indefinitely or move onto something else, know that you followed a dream and worked hard to almost make it happen.

10. Celebrate. If you've reached your goal, make sure to celebrate it's achievement. Salute yourself and those who helped you along the way. It will encourage you to do more and inspire others to pursue their own dreams.

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Coping With Chronic Illness

Chronic Illness is a term used to describe persistent and enduring bouts of illness. These disorders can be of a medical and physical nature as well as mental. Anemia, Bipolar Disorder, Colitis, Depression, Eczema, & Fibromyalgia are just a few that begin the Chronic Illness alphabet. Though there are many more, they are too numerous to list here.

Living with a chronic illness presents a myriad of issues. Most notably that both mind and body take the hit on a regular basis when an enduring illness presses on life. One's family, social and love life can be challenged as can work and school life. For tips on coping with Chronic Illness go to the American Psychological Association or visit Health Central for an interview I did a few weeks back.

I know about Chronic Illness professionally as I've worked with many children and adults who've had to live with such conditions. And I know about this subject from a personal slant. Hypertension, Arthritis and Depression keep me company. But I've learned to manage them and their fallout pretty well. My chocolate addiction, however, needs much more work.

How about you?

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Addressing the Fear that we may have lost our Salvation

Depression is a brutal illness that affects us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Many Christians who suffer from depression are particularly distressed by the effect depression has upon the spiritual part of their lives. This may include feelings of guilt and condemnation, an inability to feel God’s presence or love, and an inability to take lasting comfort from reading God’s Word or prayer.

Dr Weekes even mentions this in her book, “Self Help for Your Nerves.” Some nervously sick religious people complain of being unable to contact [connect with] their religion, like the mother who could not contact [connect with] her family. This is an added worry, especially when they find no solace in prayer. When they understand that they feel this way simply because their emotions are exhausted, they are greatly relieved. (1)

One issue that some Christians suffering from depression struggle with is the fear that they have lost their salvation. Some also have obsessive fearful thoughts that they will go to hell. This is what I wrote in my diary on 20th July 1990:

Experiences like the past eight months almost make you wonder,
it makes me wonder if I am one of His children.

WayneThomasBatson, a Christian author of five fantasy/adventure novels, shares:

When I was in the midst of it, I didn't know what was going on. As a matter of fact, off and on for seven years prior to my worst experience, I'd had a series of "heart events." After every single cardio test out there: tilt table, EKG, Halter monitor, stress test, nuclear stress test, etc, nothing heart related came up.

Stress, they told me. Little did I know that all along, it was anxiety attacks.

And what you said about the enemy prowling around and then pouncing on us...that was so true. I remember laying in a hospital bed after the worst racing heart/anxiety attack, I was terrified I was going to hell. I just couldn't get the thought out of my mind. It was like all those stories you hear of old saints on their deathbed, just peacefully passing on, saying something wonderful like, "I'm going to be with my Jesus now." Except for me, there was no comfort at all. I thought it was all over...even in an eternal sense.

Thing is, the word says neither angles nor demons, nor death or life, nor anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God through Christ.


Christians suffering from depression should not be surprised or worried by such fears, as the suffering and exhaustion caused by depression destroys our worldview - we look at everything through depression-coloured glasses. Everything looks bleak, including our perception of God and the things of His Kingdom.

I have written previously about how important it is to obtain a fresh perspective on the things we fear. Therefore, I share below scriptures we can use to help us see the new perspective regarding the fear that we are no longer one of God’s children. Meditate on these scriptures, write them down, and reflect on them when the fears come flooding in.

Salvation, or eternal life, is a free gift we receive from God when we believe in Jesus. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23.

We need to remind ourselves that when we have repented of our sins and turned to God, God wipes them out of existence. 'Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,' Acts 3:19.

The Bible assures us of our salvation when we believe in Jesus, (which means we trust in, cling to, and rely upon Him), and believe He died on the cross to pay for our sins and rose from the dead three days later. That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9 And "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16.

When we believe in Jesus like this, we are born again, this time into God’s family. Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." John 3:3. Yet to all who received him [Jesus], to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God. John 1:12-13.

Here is more assurance of our salvation. And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 1 John 5:11-13

And as Wayne Thomas Batson shared above, nothing can separate us from Christ’s love. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Nothing can snatch us from Christ’s almighty hands. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. John 10:27-29

It does not matter if for the time being we cannot feel these truths if we are suffering from depression, what matters is that we believe them and stand on them, reminding ourselves that God is completely trustworthy and His promises and Word cannot be broken.

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock." Matthew 7:24

(1) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p146.

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